Flying Ants, Pine-Sol and Restoration

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pine-sol-lady-12

I know, weird title right? But there’s just so much to talk about 😉

Let’s start with “restoration” and work backwards shall we?

My poor laptop has been dying a slow and painful death. I know this because I’ve been having random freezes. They started about every 4-5 minutes or so and are now up to every 30-45 seconds. I’ve done everything short of a clean Windows install – because this Dell came with no Windows disks. I was told I had to create one of my own…which stupid me never did. Who the hell doesn’t ship Windows install disks with a $2,000 laptop?! This morning I decided to start up in safe mode. Well, after finding nothing, I restarted in normal mode. Fucking Windows. Fucking Microsoft. Fucking Technology. After restarting normally, everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – was wonked out. (Yes, I made a word there…WONKED) Thankfully, I had a safe point to return to. Restored (hence “restoration”) to the Feb. 17th version of my system…which took FOREVER, but at least my desktop doesn’t look so alien anymore. Sheesh. The hiccups/freezes are back. Oh well.

Which leads me to Pine-Sol…

What does a crazy person like me do when her one and only lifeline to the world is acting up? Well, if you’re as bat shit crazy as me, you pull out the mop and Pine-Sol. Let me tell you, that’s the ONE and ONLY thing that really, truly can get my mind off things, even if it’s only for 15-20 minutes. It’s like sweet-smelling therapy for my soul. I don’t know why but I’ve always had a “thing” for Pine-Sol. Just the smell of it makes my heart light up with joy (no I don’t huff the shit, it just makes me think of clean). And I often envision the Pine-Sol lady coming to visit me and giving me high marks for my love of the stuff. No, I’m not a clean freak. I’ve got my fair share of dust bunnies and grime, but no more than most. I’m not a cluttered soul, not on the surface. I keep the crap in hidden nooks and crannies mostly. But the Pine-Sol, ooooh the Pine-Sol. I would marry that bitch if I could. So, after a nice sweep and mop of the entire office and kitchen, the restoration was complete. Now I’m waiting for the floors to dry. I’m trapped you see. Mopped myself into a corner I did. Right where my desk is. I seem to always wind up doing that. Wonder why 😉

Which leads me to my next task – flying ants…

Last night, after settling into bed with a beer and a movie, something buzzed my head. OK. Fine right? I can deal with one little fly. SWAT and death. Oh no! Not that simple this time. This damn thing landed IN MY HAIR. SMACK! What was it? A flying ant (not a termite thankfully. I Googled it). One dead ant I can deal with, so I went back to my beer and movie. Was that the end of it? Oh hell no. Buzz buzz buzz. There’s another one. Crap. And another one. Killed those, got up and saw there were several more crawling around on the floor. Hollered at The Man to grab the chemicals – because ladies, let’s face it, men are better at that shit. Spray spray spray. Ants dead, windows soaked in chemicals I probably shouldn’t sleep around, resume previous beer and movie (with thoughts of ants crawling in my ears as I drifted off to sleep). Anyway, I woke up this morning to find a bunch of dead “soldiers” in my window sills and on my floor. I guess the weird weather has them coming in. This is Texas. It happens quite often. So now, once I can get unstuck from my corner, I have to go tend to the fallen (vacuum burial with a one-finger salute). And then I have to hitch up my big girl panties and actually GO OUTSIDE to do some more recon and ant slaughtering. Damn friggin bugs.

At least the weather is nice today and I can have my screen doors open and listen to my myriad of neighbor-annoying wind chimes. Maybe I can convince Uncle Bob – the nice old man neighbor – to come help me recon ant nests. He’s always asking me if I need anything on the rare occasions I do venture out front. He’s such a wonderful, old man. Wish me luck!

Love, Lola

Image courtesy The Clorox Company

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3 thoughts on “Flying Ants, Pine-Sol and Restoration

  1. Hahaha!
    You poor thing!
    That computer situation, that would have driven me nuts. I’d be climbing the walls 20 mins into it.
    Glad things worked out for you though in the end…sorta. And hey, like you said, at least you can open your screen doors and enjoy the weather 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL yes. Every time something gets wonky with my technology, I go nuts. Computer is still acting up today, but I’m not letting it get me down. Got company coming over and we’re going to eat, drink and be merry for a while.

      Like

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