Kitchen Crime Scene – How I Murdered a Manwich

manwich copy

Oh what an interesting time I had last night. Let’s just say there was a murder in my kitchen, and it even spilled over into the office and dining room.

Let me start by saying that I was stupidly attempting to make dinner from a can – Manwiches. I know…BLECH. But every now and then, I get a little lazy – especially after a few beers and a few rounds of Tiger Woods Golf with The Man.

So, I was browning some ground beef, rushing around trying to get my buns toasted and cheese melted in a timely manner. The Man decides he wants to step in and help so dinner would be ready faster, and therefore we could get back to golfing. He was rinsing dishes and such, and I was paying no attention to him. Little did I know he had snuck over to the can and quietly opened it for me.

Uh, dude, next time tell a girl you did that…OR DON’T PUT THE DAMN LID BACK ON!

If you’re like me when opening a can full of sauce, especially tomato-based, you shake it HARD several times. Get all that crap back together again BEFORE you open it, right? Common sense and an ingrained habit for me.

Can you guess what happened? Yup.

I picked up that damn can and shook it hard as usual. POP GOES THE TOP and SHIT!!! Red gloppy goopy sauce everywhere. And I do mean EVERYWHERE…even me. On the floor, bar, ceiling, hair, clothes, eyes, recliner in the office, fireplace. EVERYWHERE. After about 5 seconds of standing there in shock and a pissed of Man looking at me like a toddler with markers, we both broke out in howling laughter. I mean, what else can you do? Being pissed at something so funny is just plain stupid.

So, meat gets turned off and set aside, mop and bucket come out, rags, Pine-Sol, sponges…oh…and a quick shower for me.

After about 10 minutes we looked around and decided that all evidence of said crime was erased sufficiently. Then it was time to do what I do best – and what I should have done in the first place instead of eating dinner from a can.

PANTRY DIVING. Yup, I’m the pantry diving queen. Mom and Dad taught me well. Use what you got and make it shine.

There was about 1/4 cup of that silly sauce left in the can, so plop that goes into the now reheating meat. In goes some garlic and a few extra spices. While that was cooking and reducing. In goes some macaroni to salted, boiling water. Into the oven goes the cheese-covered toasted buns (Swiss and Cheddar of course). Must have melty cheese if you’re going to have any kind of decent sandwich. Then sliced some yellow onion.

Once everything was cooked, we had nice toasty sandwiches with the ground beef mixture. And I put the rest of the meat mixture into the finished macaroni.

Wasn’t my most shining moment as a cook, but it was hot, juicy, cheesy and homemade. I only wish I could have gotten pictures. I know you all would be laughing your asses off at my expense…and I would be laughing with you.

I can still smell that sauce somewhere, I think I’ll have to do another check of the nooks and crannies.

Love, Lola


8 thoughts on “Kitchen Crime Scene – How I Murdered a Manwich

  1. So now you want to hear “whole lota shakin’ going on!” Listen, no offense to you or The Man, but golf does things to people! Trying to whack a ball the size of a walnut across a football-sized lawn and into a gopher hole is ludicrous!

    It isn’t any easier to watch under the influence of some brewskys, but it may take the edge off watching the craziness. Especially when someone rains a couple of drives into the crowd, or plunks them in the water…


    Liked by 1 person

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