I just paid April’s rent. And most of my bills have been paid for this month, thanks to The Man. However, I don’t think I can maintain my lifestyle after this. No job. Down to my last $300-$400…and no hope in sight.
I’m owed $40,000 by one company, and $12,000 by another. I’ll never see it. EVER. I think I’ve almost come to terms with that. ALMOST.
I will most likely disconnect my cable and internet on Monday, but (for now) I still have my cellphone hotspot. Well, for as long as that lasts. It will certainly mean less time on the computer, which I guess I’ll have to find a way to put it in the positive category. Although at this moment, through my tears, I can’t even begin to imagine that EVER happening. Where is there a positive in this?
I’m afraid. Very afraid. I’m sad. Very sad. Defeated? Yeah…probably. But here I am.
I’ll keep doing what I can, but that’s no reassurance to me right now.
At least I have food to eat for now, and a roof over my head through the end of April. After that, who knows.
I may be defeated, but I may not be ready to admit it entirely just yet. I’ll keep trying to post positive and interesting things as long as I can. I refuse to believe this is the end for me.