Rambling post about depression and money. Don’t read it unless you can take it. I just need to get it out.
OK, today depression has hit full force. I don’t know if it’s hormones, or fear, or what. What I do know is that I have just enough money to pay rent June’s rent, but nothing else.
I still can’t find anyone who will give me a paying gig that will cover anything past that. Guess I’m not as talented as I thought. Editor and graphics designer for over 15 years. Doesn’t matter if you can’t actually go outside and work at a normal job.
Government assistance? Yeah right. I owe so much in back taxes; they would laugh me out of their office in 2 seconds.
I live in what is most likely the cheapest rental in my town thanks to my wonderful landlords. They only want the mortgage paid. I love them with all my heart, but I refuse to let them carry me. And I refuse to stress them out over getting that bill paid. They’re the nicest people I know. Wonderful family. And I still haven’t told them I lost my job…and that was in December. When I moved in a year and a half ago, I was able to pay 2 months’ rent in advance. Now I’m freaking out because it’s only the 9th and I still haven’t paid June’s rent.
Crying. Banging my fists against the wall. (Not my head because that would really hurt and not be productive in any way.) Guess this will be how my weekend and following week goes. Here’s to hoping it’s just hormones and not the real depression deal. That’s the last thing I need.
I just can’t lose this house. And I certainly can’t move in with my folks at this age. One room, 5 cats, 1 asshole dog, and The Man. That just wouldn’t do, although the property they live on is AWESOME. Just no room for my entire posse. I wish The Man had a better paying job. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Don’t get me wrong, he makes pretty decent money and they love him at work. And he loves his job….except for watermelon and pumpkin season. As big as he is, tossing those things really can do a number on his back.
Damnit I hate doing these pissy, whiney “woe is me” posts! I’m so sorry! Suppose I should just keep it all in and never speak of it. Just keep posting the wild and crazy fun stuff.
Hush, Lola. Hush!
So here’s a joke instead.