I want to surprise my dad on Friday by showing up at the farm. Mom’s out of town this week at a librarian conference, so he’s out there all alone. And, I know he would be super proud of his shut-in daughter if she went outside all the way to his place. I can’t bring myself to mention it to him because I don’t want to break his heart just in case it doesn’t happen. This agoraphobic mess hates saying she’s sorry. I want to see his garden, which is supposed to be WAY larger than last years. I want to be at peace sitting on his porch in the swing. I want away from this hell, even if it’s just for a few hours.
We’ll have to wait and see. Making plans usually makes it worse, so I’ll just wait and see and try not to psych myself out of it…AGAIN.