When you want something done…

…you do it yourself damnit! (If you know me, you’ll know my triumph)

The Man has been insanely lazy lately. Like 13-year-old lazy. So I took matters into my own hands. It’s not like I don’t have anything else to do. (insert big ass eyeroll here)

Roses trimmed? Check!

Low-hanging branches out front cut off at grave peril to one’s person? Check!

Trash taken out? Check!

Litter boxes cleaned? Check!

Laundry done? Check!

Dishes done? Check!

Floors swept? Check!

Living room picked up? Check!

Awesome ass articles written? Fucking-A Check!

And last but not least….

Hose/sprinkler set up out front? Check! Even though I had to fight through a storm of gnats and a series of hoses that I swear were trying to eat me alive.

The sprinkler tried to back-sass me. Pshaw. Bitch works now. I’m soaking wet, but at least part of my front yard is too.

OH! And I also had a knock down drag out fight with a stink bug. I won, of course. Bug was still alive last I checked. All I could see was his ass flying away from me. He even forgot to stink me up. Poor bastard.

All-in-all…I would call this afternoon a success. Why? Because I fucking went outside, bitches!


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